Crucible of Interruption

Yahoo! I'm finally back in the internet saddle, and oh so glad to be. I figure now that I'm "from" Texas I can get away with using such talk. He he! Now that I am back online, I have lots of catching up to do. I'll start with a report on the women's retreat from this weekend, The Power of a Word. God showed up and definitely gave me a word...or two...or tons, really. It was exactly what I needed. There's nothing quite like that end of a retreat feel of being run over and refreshed all at the same time. An interesting paradox, I know. But true none the less. We had an incredible speaker and worship leaders. The presence and power of God were strongly evident. I could write about several great things but think I'll stick to two very specific things that I hope I never forget...

1. Kelly Matte, our Pastors wife, gave a word for early risers on Saturday morning. Anyone that wanted to join Kelly at 6:30 was invited to do so. One of the first things she said was,"I need you to know that Kelly Matte is not worth getting up this early in the morning for...but Jesus is. I think they both were and I'm SO glad I went. Kelly taught from Matthew 11:28-30 on 'Coming to Jesus for the REST of our lives'. This portion of scripture is addressed directly to the weary and burdened and a divine invitation to come to Jesus for rest. The definition for rest here is "the cessation of our toils." There are many things in life to toil over...things that can easily consume our lives. But this toiling is contrary to the abundant life that Jesus offers and the very place we often find ourselves when we choose to live life in our own strength. This toiling leads us to be worrysome, fearful, insecure, stressed out people. Kelly then asked a question that really shook me to my core...who would you be without all of your toiling? Remove all of the stress and strife, fear, insecurity, people-pleasing, etc....who would you be? She then asked us to call out our responses from around the room. I was going to list some of them for you here, but even as I type I cannot recall a single answer except for the one that I gave...perhaps because it was pounding so loudly in my ears at the time. The answer that I could hardly keep to myself was....COURAGEOUS. That's who I would be without all of my toiling! I would be a person who goes when/where God says go and who speaks when God says speak...without thought or hesitation. My eyes were open to how often I hold myself back in situations for all the wrong reasons. I want to be fearless for Him and I'm ask Him even now to change me.

So...who would you be without all of your toiling?

2. Many of you know from my previous post that I have been preparing a breakout talk on 'waiting' for the last several weeks...months...29 years really! The Lord has been speaking and orchestrating the details of this talk every step of the way. And Saturday, the very day of the talk, was no different. I was unexpectedly and a little irritatingly wide awake at 5am on saturay morning, thinking perhaps this was the Lord's final lesson in making me wait the long five hours to 10am, when I was scheduled to give the talk. However, this wasn't the end of the preparation. During the morning session I was asking the Lord to bring to mind a story that would allow me to put a personal touch on my talk as well as be a good illustration of waiting in my life. I knew there were several, but for whatever reason was having a hard time recalling just the right one. As always the Lord knew just what He was doing and brought to mind a very powerful reminder during our worship time. The words of a favorite and familiar hymn took me suddenly back to the pew of my home church where at just 17 years old the Lord transformed my thinking in regard to waiting on Him. I have no idea why I hadn't thought of this before and even had to chuckle over the Lord's waiting until just the last moment to recall it to my mind.

As a 17 year old, having just graduated from high school, I was seeking the Lord for direction in regard to my future. College wasn't of much interest to me at the time. Degree's didn't really seem necessary for things like marriage and children. There wasn't a whole lots else I was interested in then. I figured what better career could there be than family and I made the decision to stay home, knowing instantly that this was my own way and not the Lord's. So off to college I went... It was at this same time that I stood in sanctuary of the small Bible church where I grew up in St. Louis singing these words for about the 100th time...

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand has provided
Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto me

Only that day it was like hearing the words for the very first time and they may have looked, or felt, a little more like this...

Great is Thy Faithfulness
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
ALL I HAVE NEEDED THY HAND HAS PROVIDED
Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me

Is was as if that particular line jumped off the screen and straight into my heart, as I heard the Lord whisper with such gentleness and grace...if you don't have it, its because you don't NEED it.

I'm so thankful that at 17 the Lord allowed me to grasp the idea of his mercy being demonstrated in witholding things from his children. There are so many things...God glorifying things that I want sometimes. Things that I think are good, but that God from His sovereign, all knowing, big picture perspective knows are not.

As I shared this story in my breakout session I was able to give glory to God for His all sufficent, all satisfying provision over our wants and our waits. He makes no mistakes. And my life...your life...doesn't just happen to be the one exception. There are NO exceptions. Whatever you are waiting for...give thanks to God that he's sparing you from something you think you need, but that he knows for whatever reason, at this exact moment...you don't. He is lavishing his infinite love on me...and on you as he withholds. What a great God!! I pray He gives our hearts and our minds a deeper understand of this as His ultimate goodness.