Crucible of Interruption

What is it about New Years that makes the whole world crazy for resolve?? Each year in January billions of people make decisions...choices...commitments...to change. Even as I sit here and type my mind is flooded with all of the things I hope to accomplish, do, see, be in 2009. And this year I'm curious, why do we do this? Does it really make a difference, or does it just make us feel better for the few short days, weeks or months that we actually follow through with such commitments? Right now the tv is on in the other room and I've just heard at least three commercials for weight loss and gym specials going on NOW! And to quote a friend..."The next two weeks will be the busiest time at Memorial Park all year". Such resolutions range from health habits to relationships, to spiritual deiciplines, and on and on. Now before I sound like the ghost of New Years past and get called a "scrouge" let me just say I love what resolutions stand for, I think they're great. I just know that every year I end up disappointed with myself, and it's this failure to follow through that leaves me and a big part of the rest of the world feeling frustrated. Can anyone relate? What exactly are we going wrong?

I resolve in 2009 to make my resolving look a bit different. Let's do a little word study on "resolve" shall we...

Definition: decision, determination
Synonyms: boldness, conclusion, courage, decidedness, design, earnestness, firmness, fixed purpose, intention, objective, project, purpose, purposefulness, purposiveness, resoluteness, resolution, steadfastness, undertaking, will, willpower

I would now like to connect my thoughts in regard to new years resolutions to a book that I am currently reading that has nothing to do with new years, but has everything to do with change. The Miracle of Life Change, How God Transforms His Children by Chip Ingram, previously published as Holy Transformation. The entire book is based on Ephesians Ch 4.

Here are a few quotes from the book...

"How can we claim that Christ makes a difference in our lives when our lives don't really look that different from the rest of society? Until we can answer that question clearly, we will continue to cast doubt on the validity of the gosepel we proclaim"..."The kind of change I'm talking about involves the supernatural. Our goal is not a remodeled you accomplised through hard work and self-effort, but a brand new you that thinks, acts and feels differently because the Spirit of God has taken up residence within you...the kind of change you can't fake"..."I have come to realize that the average Christian simply does not know how spiritual growth and transformation really occurs. Somewhere along the line, the clear teaching of Ephesians 4 has been replaced by hopeless busyness"..."Failure to change frequently results from spiritual ignorance. Many Christians simply don't understand their identity in Christ and the grace they have received. The ignorance destines them to the "try hard, do good, fail" syndrome."

There will definitely be more blog posts to come as I continue through the book. Hopefully that's enough to wet your appetite and help connect my thoughts as I take a look at new years resolutions and the commitment to change I hope to make this year. I can't really speak for anyone else, but I've realized that my own personal failure has come in making my own best effort to do something different rather than realizing than my own best effort doesn't amount to much apart from the power of God at work within me. If I want to eat better or exercise more or be better with my finances or be a better friend, sister daughter then I MUST make Christ Lord of my life in these areas. I have to acknowledge that there is no best effort on my part that makes me able and ask for eyes to see the supernatural work of God that is constantly at work in and around me...but perhaps I fail to see because I fail to take the time to do so. Its in realizing that I cannot that the God of the Universe, my heavenly Father who loves me more than anyone else in the universe, can come in and say LET ME!!

May 2009 be filled with a greater supernatural work of God in your life and in mine. He is able and in Him so are we. I can't wait to share my victories with each of you. Be blessed in the new year friends!

Check out this AWESOME blog post by Mark Driscoll on the lack of/need for silence in our lives. It's SOOOOO good...

http://theresurgence.com/silence

What comes to mind when you hear the word shingles? Something that goes on your roof perhaps? A weird disease that old people get? These are the two things that typically come to mind whenever I hear the word (which isn't really very often)...until now...

Ever have one of those days that you think is going so great, and then bam something completely crazy and out of the blue happens? That's how I would sum up my Saturday last week. Things were going so great. I was enjoying the incredible blessing of great friends visiting from out of town. Amber had come from Fort Worth with her two precious boys and Allison had made a surprise visit from Baton Rouge. We were having the best time catching up, hanging out, talking, laughing, talking and laughing some more. It was so refreshing and just what I needed. I was trying really hard the whole day to ignore a rather annoying itchy bite that was on my back and seemed to be getting worse. I decided to have Amber look at it to see what she thought it might be. Like me, she agreed that it was perhaps a spider bite, but that the readness appeared to be moving in an upward pattern. In which case, if it were a spider bite could be really bad news. So off to urgent care I went. Where I discovered that at the ripe old age of 29, I had shingles. A stress induced post chicken pox virus that leaves one itching like crazy and with hyper sensitive nerves that can leave one in pain for months, sometimes even years. Great!! The even more wonderful news was that I needed to avoid small children and pregnant women so as to not pass along the chicken pox virus. Great again!! I immediately thought of Titus (4) and Justus (5mo) who had been at my house the past 24 hours and who I had definitely been holding and loving on quite a bit. After a few phone calls to the pediatrician Amber decided to pack up and head home...bummer..but definitely for the best. Allison decided to stay and mother me, which I gladly let her do. And boy was I sad to see her go on Sunday. But my roommate Jules lovingly jumped in to pick up right where she left off. I have great friends!!

So, on with the lesson. First a shingles lesson for you...
Shingles is derived from the chicken pox virus. Anyone who has had chicken pox can get shingles if under a lot of stress or with a weakened immune system (from cancer treatments or HIV). The chicken pox virus actually lays dorment in your system for the rest of our life. Huh, interesting..didn't know that one! No one can catch shingles. It is a reoccuring virus. You catch shingles from your very own pre-existing chicken pox condition. However, a person who has never had chicken pox can catch chicken pox from someone with shingles...but only through direct contact, not through the air. Shingles make their lovely appearance in the form of red bumps that itch and hurt a lot. They follow the pattern of your nerves if derived from stress. They also cause nerve pain which makes you ache and can even leave your skin hypersensitive to touch, even the touch of your very own clothes. Ok, so that's probably more than some of you wanted to know about shingles. And for those of you who want to know even more check out the Mayo Clinic website. It's very informative with pictures and all!

Now, the shingles lesson for me...
I haven't left the house since Saturday, well except to take out the trash and to see if I was missing great weather...and I was. But other than that it's been like leper central around our house. Ok, being a bit dramatic. My mind is in an intersting state after being cooped up and on pain meds all week. I've gotten plenty of rest, had plenty of time to think, read, nap, think, change my facebook status, and repeat. And in the midst of all that there's been plenty of time for the Lord to try and get a hold of me in regard to why all this happened in the first place. Today (Thursday) I finally decided to let him. Sheesh...took me long enough! Why do we...why do I...so often try to run from the very thing I need most? That lesson for another blog post. Stress-induced shingles. For a few days the itching and pain were so bad all I could think about was the shingles part. Now that I'm on the mend I'm sitting alone in my house, forced to look the "stress-induced" part dead in the face. For some reason my mind keeps going to the plagues in Exodus. God was trying to send a clear message...one that the Egyptians obviously weren't getting. And He stopped at nothing to get their attention. It's an ironic kind of love that I find myself so grateful for...he won't let me get away and he won't let me live my life foolishly. Sometimes I'm so busy that I end up there without even realizing it. And all for a good cause named ministry. When I first started in full time ministry I begged God to not let what I do for him to ever take the place of Him. He is so faithful to remember the prayers that we pray and then tend to forget. So, the cold hard truth is this...I think too much and pray to little, I carry the burdens of others, as well as myself, when I should be putting them on Jesus, the one who can acutally make a difference in these situations. I'm constantly emptying without being filled and I'm completely surrounded by people, yet without community. And the root of all this is me trying to live life on my own, void of an utter dependence on God. It feels so good to have my eyes opened to these things. The Lord has been so sweet through His Word and His presence today. This is one lesson I only want to learn once so I'm asking Him to keep me here until it sticks. And if this speaks to you at all, take my word for it...humble yourself before the Lord is forced to humble you.

George Muller is one of my favorite missionary heroes of the faith. He faced many challenges and many hardships throughout his ministry. One of his favorite verses was Psalm 84:11, "No good thing does He withould from those who walk uprightly." George was a man of incredible faith. If you haven't read his bio you should. He buried two of his own children as well as his wife during his lifetime. Each time he claimed this verse and saw his hardship as "the good thing". I sit here today to say that shingles is indeed the good thing that God has sent my way to demonstrate his amazing love and grace towards me and to bring me back to the incredible realization that daily life without Him is no life at all. He is indeed good!

...that is the question. Or was on Thursday, Sept 11 when news of hurricane Ike flashed across every news channel in Texas. After three previous false alarms its easy to understand why many Houstonians were taking the news so lightly. A possible category three hurricane brewing in the gulf. Possible landfall near Galveston. "Hunker Down" became the oh so popular and ever annoying phrase of the hour. Mandatory evacuations started around noon on Thursday. Galveston Island and several zip codes in Harris County and surrounding areas of Texas began packing up and heading out. Those not in a mandatory evacuation zone were asked to stay put in order to make room on the road for those needing to get out.

I sat on my living room couch watching the news and began thinking about what I should do. I've never been in a hurricane before, I thought to myself. In fact, I've never been in a natural disaster at all. The curious side of me was set to stay. The practical side of me decided I should probably do some consulting. My research proved profitable. My house isn't in a flood zone, all of my neighbors were planning to stay, I live right next door to work, which is also my church and a very safe structure if need be. So...that settled it. With hurricane Ike just days away the residents of BW #35 were hunkering down. The decision had been made. The next steps at this point were very important. First stop....Costco! When you need to stock up on food and water why go anywhere else. I mean, "stock up" is Costco's middle name.

When I pulled up in the parking lot at Costco I knew I was in for quite the adventure. From the parking lot to the door I saw at least 7 people trying to fit generators in their cars. Some had to be removed from their boxes in order to fit in people's trunk. Inside was even more interesting. People everywhere, carts loaded down, crowds, lines, etc. But Costco proved faithful yet again in great customer service. One of many reasons I love them so! I quickly found what I needed and made my way to the line, which by the way went down both sides of the store from the front registers all the way back to the cold section. I had a great time talking with the people around me, seeking advice from the hurricane vets. One lady suggested I fill my washing machine with ice in case we loose power...that was a new one. I amazingly made it through the crazy line in under 30 minutes. Costco employees were busy making sure everyone could find what they needed...and passing out fresh baked cookies all the while. Nice!

When I left Costco I was completely stocked with water, food, light sources and batteries. Basically everything I would need to make it through a worse case scenario type pf hurricane. I was so proud of myself! Next stop...fuel. This proved way more complicated and frustrating than the first stop. To make a long story short I went to six gas stations...and nothin'! I finally gave up and went into work. I woke up friday at 6am for no apparent reason and all I could think was 'go get fuel'. So I ventured out and happened to find some at my first stop. I was on "e" and just kept thinking about what if I need to get out after the hurricane if conditions proved dangerous or just plain frustrating. Which turned out to be a good decision. The tank was full, the supplies were stocked, now we wait...

Friday night was filled with movie watching, and an occasionally news update, while hanging with my roommate Julie and my friend Mia who lives in downtown Houston and was looking for a safer place to hide out during the storm. We finally headed to bed around 1am. Little did I know it would be the longest night of my life. The last thing I remembered from the news was "Brennen's" restaurant downtown burned to the ground after nearby transformer blew up. This was not a good thing to have on ones mind while lying in bed for six hours listening to howling winds, trees crashing to the ground and transformers exploding. My constant prayer all night was "Lord, please keep the windows from breaking and please don't let anything catch on fire!!"

I now sit in a cozy air conditioned home in Fort Worth, surrounded by friends, running water, hot food and freshly showered....amen! There's so much to be thankful for. Minus a long, scary night, some minor flooding on our enclosed porch and the brief loss of a/c and water, we escaped the fiercest of Ike's grip, unlike thousands of others who's belongings now lie scattered across lawns and who's power may not be returned for weeks. Lord, we ask for your nearness and comfort over those who have experienced great loss. May those who know you and love you extend great love to those who are in need at this time.

Here's a few pics from my first hurricane experience. The next time a hurricane threatens to come my way I will give leaving some serious thought. Turns out 'hunkering down' is not for the faint of heart...

This is the parking lot right outside my condo door. The blown out fence is the barrier between us and the bayou and separates us from the HFBC parking lot.

Our enclosed porch suffered a few inches of water on friday night, as well as saturday night.

Ike's winds tore down and uprooted many HUGE trees...it was an unbelievable sight.

HEB was one of literally two stores in the area with power. People had to wait in line and were being let in the door 20 at a time in order to control crowd craziness.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

If you are reading this post then you're just the person to help me out. In four weeks I'll be attending a women's retreat for my church where I have the awesome privilege of leading a breakout session. The theme of the retreat is The Power of a Word and each breakout will focus on a different word that can have power over us in one way or another. The word I'll be speaking on is "waiting" and I would love for you to be a part of my preparation.

In my study, as well as conversations and life experience over the last several years, I have come to realize that life is about waiting. No matter what season of life we find ourselves in we're always waiting on God for something. And let's face it, waiting can be hard. But, I am also convinced that in our waiting the Lord desires to magnify His goodness, faithfulness and sovereignty over our lives all the more.

So what is it, in your current season of life, that you are waiting for? Please take a brief moment to comment in answer to this question. You can be as brief or detailed as you like and your comment can even be anonymous if you prefer. This will help so much in my teaching, as well as have a great impact on several people's lives. It's so great to know we're not alone in our wait! Also, if you have a word about a waiting experience or a waiting fulfilled feel free to share that as well.

I look forward to reading your comments. In the meantime, I'll be waiting...